Till death do us part?

A German legislator recently has suggested that marriages should not last more than five years. The guy has a point. It’s pity to see people chaffing under the rule of dictatorships – marriage dictatorship.

I personally think the marriage vows should be for two years only. It is vows to your mother only which should add the idea of ‘till death do us part’. These days’ marriages are increasingly not looking at good, old fashioned love.

Why not be honest to each other? Sayings things like ‘I vow to be on your side through thick and thin….’ These are basically bloody lies.

‘I promise to love you and care for you as best as I can…’ Nothing like that! The sentence should go thus: “I promise to love my beer as best as I can and if I get the tinniest chance get myself a nice nubile take-away for fun and games I will happily do that.”

Then the padre will tell you that ‘You can now kiss the bride..’ Nonsense! The padre should solemnly tell you that, ‘You can now kiss your money good-bye.’

The trouble with marriage is its daily-ness. It is even more difficult if one partner starts imagining that he or she can share the interest of the hubby or wife. You could end up boring each other to tears.

In our societies (Africa) a guy can just walk out through the front-door when he has had enough marriage. In the more ‘wazungu’ societies the man is kicked in the butt and leaves the house to the wife and kiddies.

And boy, they really do kick each other’s backsides. This is why divorce rates are steeply rising. A woman can marry and get divorce three times a day, without blinking an eye.

In Zenj it is also not a big deal to get married just like you are eating a biscuit – just like that! You can also get a divorce while you a munching another biscuit from the same box! In Iran you can get temporary marriages.

I think I like the German legislator’s suggestion that spouses can take a walk when they are tired of it all,. That is better than looking for trivia as reasons for getting a divorce. I have heard fantastic lies from guys eager to get a divorce

Through thick and thin? Till death do we part? Whom are you talking to, your mom? Yeah, mum is the word.